Zed's Diary
Follow our new 3rd Team skipper on his journey onwards and upwards. From humble beginnings with the A Team, Zed has now assumed charge of the 3rds. With the 2nd team captaincy next in his sights Zed continues his journey to the top.

Nelson 3rd 11 V Accrington 3rd 11
Nelson 193-8 Accrington 162

The match began with me winning the toss and without a fuss asking the opposition to bat first on a wearing pitch with overcast conditions. My opening bowling duo of the old wonder bra wearer and G-string diva (Imran Hussain) and the effervescent Sajj Sadiq reduced the opposition to 24-4 inside 12 aggressive overs. Nelson counter attacked with their best two batsmen who carried the score to 80 without any further loss, and along the way showing why they play for the Lancashire under 15's. That was up until I introduced the the sultan of swing Zaed Hussain, who had the batsmen in all sorts of trouble and induced them into a state of confusion and shock on how to play the mysterious deliveries from the orient (they were in hysterics apparently because of my swinging catapult type action,modelled on Waqar Younis...now you didn't see many batsmen laughing at him did you?)...The giggling was short lived..as one of the batsmen was induced into driving at an unplayable outswinging slower ball which he edged to the keeper....however my success was also short lived as they counter attacked and got to a healthy total of 193-8 ... the most successful bowlers were the 'tashless wonder' Saggy Hussain With 3-45 and Sajj Sadiq with a fine 2-19 off 10 tight overs....good effort from them both.

Our start to the innings was a night mare as James Ormerod was bowled for a golden, opening the innings (probably distracted by the thought of Toff's voice!) Off a very good inswinging delivery may it be said, and saggy followed back to the pavilion (who was probably thinking of Ormy when he was out!) ...we were 24-2 off 7 overs. At this stage Accy's counter attack started explosively in the form of Ian Johnson, who revelled in the conditions, hitting one mighty six out of the ground....the ball was being propelled all round the ground by the 20 stone power house.....I refuse to make any derogatory comments about the fellow as I respect him .........albeit because of his intimidating frame! He in partnership with Matt Donnelly who also played a very finely crafted 25 with some lovely crisp off side shots, managed to take the score to 122 before the latter was out (Ian Johnson 62) and we were in pole position to win...that was up until I came and went quicker than the half a cake that immy managed to gobble up at the tea time interval...and we proceeded to collapse quicker than the defense saddam prepared for Baghdad in last year s Gulf War. Our final score rested on 162 all out and the only scores of note were Ian Johnson's 62 and Young 'Donner's' 25

Having collected the match subs at the end of the match I had an after thought of taking out my disappointment by going in to property investment in Nelson. By my reckoning the £12 I had collected would have bought me 3 terraced houses and an 8 bedroom mansion with a Jacuzzi and sauna in the 'village' . But the pessimist in me thought otherwise as I have a prediction that the housing market is going to fall by the end of the year and my £12 pound investment in these properties will not only not mature but would result in a disastrous net loss...sorry Nelson.......for lacking the consumer confidence to invest in you.